24 Oct

it feels as if its been so long since i had enough time to myself to really remember what its like in my head. what its like to just be alone with my thoughts. to just be. and its a lovely place to reside for an evening.

i fed the babe, tucked him in with a kiss, poured myself a cup (we don’t own any glasses) of wine and ran myself a piping hot bath full of sea salts and essential oils not sutable for babies. i had intended to just read, but i just laid there with thoughts flowing freely without interuption (well only one). i listened to whatever music i wanted without worrying if it was too stimulating for the bug or too loud or too anything. i looked at photos of him as the tiniest of babes and reflected on this journey i suddenly find myself on. i remembered what it was like to not know the little being inside me when i was pregnant, and felt so grateful to have a healthy happy little baby. so grateful that he was birthed safely into the loving hands of our midwife. so grateful for him.

we had spent the day together, just him and i. we walked all day, looking at the leaves falling, visiting friends. we napped together, tucked in snug with one anothers foreheads pressed against the others. we were quiet and aware, and it was divine. there is no doubt in my mind he sees inside my mind and sees the place he resides within my heart.

i cherish these quiet moments.

my playlist of the evening

the silence of my life before my son echoes through my memory as a reminder of how grateful i am to have this tiny being.

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