its a boy!

14 Feb

after our last ultrasound i was left in a state of constant consideration of whether we are having a boy or a girl. for both of us, either is just what we want. it is not that we want one or the other, i just want to know what we’re getting! i am not the type of person who can patiently wait and wonder. i am the type of person who will obsess and wonder and drive myself insane long before sleep deprivation becomes an issue.

the mister was fine with waiting. he waited until birth to find out he had a daughter with his ex, and it wouldn’t really bother him to wait again to find out what we are having.

(image source)

luckily i have a mother who was sympathetic (and didn’t think i was a nut for wanting to know as she wanted to know just as badly!) and she agreed to pay for us to have a private ultrasound to find out as a birthday present to me.

normally i would consider this extravagant, and probably judge someone who did the same, however being pregnant and knowing that someone could look in there and tell me something more about the tiny being growing in there, and that they wouldn’t without an $80 price tag was hard for me. so i chose to do it. it wasn’t easy and i did wonder if it was selfish of me (i believe it is, but i am ok with that.) to submit my child to an unnessessary ultrasound just so i could still my wondering.

at the same time though, i wanted to just see him or her again. you only get one good one during your pregnancy and it doesnt always seem enough. watching their tiny movements is incredible, and if i could watch them on my tv, i probably wouldn’t leave the house until they were born. and i wanted to in vision my life with them. could i start sewing little dresses? did i need to consider what i would want my role to be as a mother to a son? i have very little experience with little boys, what would i need to learn if we were to have a son?

so i said yes. lets do it!

and we did!

and i am thankful we did every day now that we know.

(from left to right, leg, umbilical cord, bent spine, and head tucked deep into chin)

ITS A BOY!

i invited my mum to come into the ultrasound with us. she was healthy and never had an ultrasound while pregnant with me, so i thought i would give her the chance to see her grandchild. at first we could not tell which part of the baby we were even looking at he was so twisted and curled up. even the ultrasound tech was a little confused. finally we sorted out which end was which and suddenly there it was!

and boy is he ever a boy! (he will probably loath me for putting that on the internet forever, i apologize now). there was no mistaking it.

the mister grabbed my foot and said “a boy!” and our eyes welled up. i couldn’t believe it. “a boy?!,” i said laughing “i don’t know what to do with a boy!”

i was overjoyed though, and i could feel and see how proud and happy my mister was too.

we tried to poke at the baby to get a good shot of him for the album, but he pressed his little head against my side and kicked his little legs at the ultrasound wand and would not budge. i said it was fine, he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to and we left with some great photos of his bendy little spine.

we left the clinic with new hopes and dreams (and fears) for what life with our son will hold.

i quickly realized all the things this freed me from having to do as a mother to a son and not a daughter!

-dont have to explain periods

-dont have to worry about the dreaded mother/daughter battles during the teens

-(probably) dont have to buy makeup!

-dont have to worry about her getting pregnant (him getting girls pregnant may be a concern though)

and quite a few other worries i had been having suddenly slipped off the map! dad gets to explain sex! (i told him he had better lie and tell our son he has used a condom ever single time he has ever had sex except for the two times which resulted in him and his sister! just kidding). sure we’ll have to feed a teenage boy, but it probably evens out to the amount spent on makeup, hair dye, and clothes for a teenage girl.

we both found a whole new excitement to our pregnancy.

by the time we had driven from the clinic to the restaurant we were meeting my mum and her partner at (about a 10 min drive), my mother had phoned every member of my family and had their reactions to share with us. needless to say, she’s a tad enthusiastic about this baby! there are only 2 out of the 8 grandkids in my family that are boys, and 1 of the 5 kids my grandparents had was a boy, so needless to say, everyone was quite excited for a boy. it was such a wonderful feeling to have our whole family connected to this new knowledge of our growing child.

i feel so blessed, and i cannot wait to find out what my little boy will have to teach me.

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